Joking Around
by Charmaps
Summary: Everyone's favorite gang start practicle jokes to let off steam till Jack goes to far. How will Daniel Retaliate?


Usual Disclaimer, I don't own etc…

Just a bit of silly fun. Enjoy.

Daniel's POV 

"So Jack thought that was funny did he".

Daniel Jackson was scowling at the same piece of wall he had been for the last hour or so. Getting a very pleasant feeling as he thought of worse and worse plots of revenge.

Oh how badly he had to get revenge on Jack. Life was on hold till he did.

It had all started harmlessly enough; the team had been letting off a lot of steam recently by playing some practical jokes on each other. Just simple things like changing all of Sam's clothes from her locker with all of Teal'c's from his locker. They had found it funny once they had dried and switched clothes. The bit standing in the corridor with towels only, while making the change wasn't that bad they conceded. And anyway, anyone who had seen them had also seen the 'Laugh if you Dare' look Teal'c had given them. They were safe from all reprisals.

They had retaliated against Jack by stealing all the Jell-O from the commissary and putting it in his locker and conveniently forgetting to leave behind any clothes for after his shower. Still Daniels trousers hadn't been that badly fitting on him. The fact that they had shortly before had been on Daniel himself did not seem to upset Jack. Though the fact that he could not do them up was never mentioned.

And so the jokes went on. Harmless except for maybe the odd tinge of embarrassment like when Daniel discovered he had a date he had forgotten about. The nurse (in on the joke) sat pouting in his office for nearly twenty minutes while he tried to talk himself out of it and into a very big hole. Sam on the other side of his office door who had arranged the encounter stood with her fist in her mouth and tears streaming down her face from laughing silently and so hard. Later when she told Jack and Teal'c they had found it highly amusing.

Daniel had repaid the debt by having the biggest bunch of flowers all pink, and a cute stuffed animal delivered to her in the mess hall in front of everyone by an airman who for the right bottle of whisky would sing an Irish lullaby. He had announced the arrival too Schnoocoms love Squidgy. After running away at full pelt she had later recovered.

And so the jokes had gone on. Even General Hammond had got in on the odd one. Teal'c's face when he was assigned to first aid training and told that it was customary to wear a dress like the nurses for the duration of the training was priceless. And as Daniel had had the camera at hand it was forever stored in digital. Of course to the eye that did not know Teal'c there was really no difference. But if you knew him, you knew that one eyebrow was just a smidgeon too high.

Everyone was fine, happy, you knew you might be the next victim but it was harmless and a good way to let off steam in some constructive manner.

Styler had started a betting book on who was the next victim and in what way and so all the SGC got in on SG1's game and everyone felt part of a bigger team.

But Jack had crossed the line. And now it was time to get even. Daniel could do line crossing when necessary, and this situation defiantly classified as necessary.

He knew a few planets where he could sell him as a slave and then rescue him later. _Maybe._

He could change the locks to his house. Daniel had Jacks spare key anyway. _Not very original _

Maybe supply Airman Arundel with two bottles of whiskey and get him to sing to Jack whilst declaring undying love. _No that would not work. And Arundel would most likely end up with a broken jaw or nose_.

Maybe that nurse could pull the forgotten date stunt on jack. _No that had already been done. Need something original._

Think Daniel what will really get his goat and be original.

Sports he took them seriously no room for fun there, not where winning and losing were concerned.

Yes that was it, but what to do. 

After sitting for another hour or two thinking, Daniel Jackson started laughing menacingly to himself

He had a plan.

Jack's POV 

He was feeling a tiny tinge of guilt, maybe. And with the looks that Carter and Teal'c were giving him, the feeling was not improving.

So maybe he had crossed the line between harmless, slightly embarrassing fun and meanness but he hadn't meant to. He had just been a bit carried away.

It was Daniels fault if he hadn't been so dependant on that machine none of this would of happened. It had been so comical for a moment though it was almost worth it. If only they hadn't had a camera. The pictures of Daniel hugging the now deceased coffee maker were selling fast around base like illegal contraband. Not improving the afore mentioned doctors mood in the slightest.

Jack hadn't meant to kill the coffee machine, who knew that pudding instead of coffee would have had that effect. He didn't. And anyway it was just a machine, not like he couldn't replace it. Which apparently he couldn't the offer had only earned him a scowl and the need to duck his coffee mug before it smashed against the wall and he fled.

Jack tried to think when Daniel had looked that mad before without various alien influences.

No. Nope never that mad before.

The archeologist was by all accounts sat in his office staring at the wall and had been for a few hours. Sulking or plotting, Jack did not know, but he knew enough to be sat with his back against the wall and to worry a little.

Well a lot actually.

Daniel's POV 

The plans were all made now he just needed to tell Teal'c and Sam and sit back and enjoy.

Jack's POV 

It had been 4 days since the coffee incident and Daniel seemed to have calmed down a little.

He had installed a new machine with a 'Touch me and you die Jack' sign (provided by Sam) neatly on the wall above it. And a promise of fulfillment to the word of the sign by Teal'c should Jack fail to comply.

They were talking to each over, Jack had managed an apologe and Daniel had also brought him a new mug. Not that it could ever be used for coffee from Daniel's machine. That seemed to be an accepted rule.

_For now anyway._

Jack was sure that at the next all night crisis, Daniel would provide the coffee as always freely and in great quantity. And then all would be fully forgiven.

So why did he still feel on edge. He felt like there was some joke going on and he was not part of it. There should be a warning in that feeling but if there was, he was ignoring it.

Not to worry tomorrow night was game night, the general had announced yesterday that they could all watch the game in the gym. Even two beers per off duty personnel. Life was looking up and better yet. He had persuaded Daniel to come to the game. A true feat in itself, one that could rival the undoing of any system lord.

Yes the week had defiantly improved.

Daniel's POV 

Trying to pretend to not be interested in the game and going along with Jack had been the hardest part of the whole plan. It was just so funny to pretend to not want to go when wild horses could not of kept him away from the event.

_Oh revenge, How sweet thou art._

Jack had pleaded, cajoled and argued for the best part of an hour. Sam and Teal'c had had to leave the room before they gave the game away.

_Yep should have been an actor. Could have got an Emmy for that one!_

Getting Teal'c and Sam in on the act had been easy, when they had tried to baulk, they thought it going to far. Daniel had just stuck out his bottom lip and started pouting they could not refuse him. They even went so far as to make a silly sign for his new, better, state of the art all-singing all-dancing, coffee machine. Maybe the demise of the last one in a pink fluffy, sticky explosion had been for the best after all.

Never tell Jack that though, another, 'I know best lecture' might be the end of him and Jack. Where caffeine was concerned Daniel knew best.

As the day of the game dawned the buzz on base was fantastic. Daniel was loving it. Jack thought it was about the game.

Oh how short sighted he could be at times. What Joy! Jack's POV 

"Come on Daniel, I don't want to miss the first quarter. Oh for crying out loud you don't need to take coffee, there is beer waiting for us. You're only doing that to prove a point."

"Jack I don't like beer. You know that"

"Are you sure your human?"

"What does that mean?"

"Beer Daniel, everyone likes beer"

"Whatever"

"Are you ready yet?"

"Yes I am patience"

"Daniel, you don't need a camera"

"I am getting into the spirit of things, Jack. Need my camera to do that"

"Whatever, just hurry up will ya"

"I'm ready Jack, be patient will you"

And with that they left Daniels office and headed for the Gym.

Jack knew he had achieved something by getting Daniel to go to the game, and felt even better when Daniel brought the camera as that meant he was getting into the spirit of things. Jack was not sure what he would really take pictures of, but he guessed buddy shots. Nice thought.

As they approached the gym, Jack could hear the familiar shouts of bets being placed and teams being supported or booed at depending on your allegiance.

At least those would have been the sounds something was not quite right.

_Something feels wrong here._

_Daniel coming to the game._

_Camera._

_Oh dear. He didn't get over the death of his coffee maker._

"What's with the music doesn't sound like the usual opening to the game"

"Well you see the SGC have decided to take on a new kind of sport for the base"

Jack looked at the door with the offending music coming from the other side. It opened and out poured what seemed like all the base personnel who starting surrounding and pushing Jack.

It took what seemed like a thousand hands and a lot of shoving before Jack found himself in the gym alone with the door closing and locking on the outside.

"Daniel"

Jack quickly surveyed his situation he was locked in. No getting out and he could not turn off the projector to stop the sports, if that's what you could call it.

_Alone with only the big screen, Jack was not a happy camper._

He turned and started pounding on the door and shouting. No-one came to help him.

Daniel's POV 

Watching Jack being man handled into the room was fun. He knew it would take days for Jack to get over and forgive him for this but fair was fair. A coffee machine in exchange for 4 hours of Ice Skating. Jack would survive this and a picture of him exciting after would be the finale round up.

The game was being recorded for him in the mess hall where the base would watch the game Jack wanted to watch.

Maybe even let him out in time for the last quarter. Compassion was separated man from beast amongst other things.

Daniel would take the picture he decided, as he walked. From a great distance though of course. Safety was only sense. He might just be behind Teal'c as well as he took the shot. Never too safe.

The End 


End file.
